The Maximoff Drug Twins

One of the places I lived for a year (there have been a bunch at this point) had this crazy drug culture.  

It was so incredibly casual.  

Given that I grew up in a situation where the only person I really knew doing drugs of any kind was SUPER abusive, my sense that any could be done without throwing someone into a violent or manipulate rage was a little beyond me. 

…but I liked this boy and I wanted him to be able to trust me since I’d ALREADY MOVED across the county to live with our shared good friend.  

Basically, I was stuck and had to desperately pretend everything was fine.

Totally healthy. 

Fuck.

Honestly, if I had truly understood what it would have been like before moving, I would have gone someplace else.  

BUT  I didn’t, so then I learned the lingo in order not to feel like I was gonna get killed.  

I was still pretty much ostracized in my own apartment, but I’ve already talked about that plenty.

This town… 

Dealers were everywhere, selling to each other.  I didn’t understand how anyone made any money.    

Meanwhile, I was there like:

It wasn’t all scary though.  There were some good people who may have also just been swept up one way or another, AND there were some neat dance clubs.

One was on a train! 

…actually, I should do a post about some of those…

But first, let’s talk about this super weird experience that probably happens all the time.

This particular dance club was a temporarily set up situation in a hotel. 

Downstairs was a room with space enough to dance, a stage area for the DJ (someone I knew, in fact) and some tables and chairs.  In the back was the bar area.

I was pretty content sitting and listening to the music, watching people groove on.  

Every now and then I’d either get up to dance, or a friend would drag me to dance.  

In retrospect, it was one of the few times in my adult life that I had more lady-friends around than dudes. 

That part, I liked. 

That part did not involve life threatening situations and looking right in the face of a police officer while wondering why he wasn’t helping me. 

(I figured he either A. Couldn’t tell if I was also a dealer and didn’t want to risk ruining my life for nothing so just didn’t get involved or B. Was on drugs.)

At some point I wandered off to get some air and possibly to find a friend of mine?   

Who knows.

I wound up in a classy hall area that had a grand piano, some couches, and these two strange people.

The Maximoff Drug Twins

I call them that because I don’t know if they were brother and sister or dating or just good friends or business partners, and the fact that I can’t tell is a little funky on some level… 

And he was vibrating levels of hyper while she was just super weird.

I got cornered and eventually wound up sitting on a couch with them as though we were having a real conversation.  

They offered me a million types of ways to get high, all of which I declined, and some of which I had no idea what the shit even was. 

Nothing was physically on them (they weren’t that stupid), but they were more than willing to bring me somewhere for it.

I declined for a thousand reasons.

When they learned that I wasn’t just not interested in going to a random house, but I was also not interested in getting high, they had some amazing questions.

First, they naturally assumed I was either loyal to competition, or that I was competition myself.

Then they wanted to know how I DID have fun???  

I calmly explained that I enjoy many things, and I avoid mind altering substances for reasons attached to my childhood, but also because I have bad reactions to things anyway.  

Upon learning that I’m prone to panic attacks, and that I used to have all kinds of hallucinations even as a kid, they became entirely mesmerized by me. 

I felt like I had become the drug.

I don’t remember how I even got out of there.  I probably feigned having to go to the bathroom, and then snuck (sneaked?) back in to the dancing room…

I remember my friends not even noticing I was gone so long. 

But

You know

They were probably on drugs.