Looking out the window today, I am reminded that…
I have always hated the snow.
Mostly, I only looked forward to snow when there was enough to keep me from standing outside neck deep in it, waiting for the bus.
Now, don't say to me, "Then why live here???"
I have lived in the harsh desert lands as well.
Didn't work out.
I like it here. I do.
I also think the snow is very pretty.
And not liking to be in the snow, even as a child, certainly didn't stop my friends from outright forcing me to have a good time in the white, Wintery muck.
I did, indeed, have a good time.
…Once in a while.
Even in high school, we used a recycling bin:
Created snow-bricks:
And used said bricks of snow to make a very intense snow-fort:
It was around this time that it occurred to me that growing up didn't have to mean no longer having fun or being imaginative.
Being inventive is what makes life interesting.
After two nose bleeds, literal blood, sweat, and tears went into making that damn fort.
There were also many times before and after that day where R rated snow people were created.
Still, none of these memories, precious as they are, can convince me that going outside in the snow is better than sitting cozy inside, watching the snow from a window instead.
Happy snow day, to those who have it today.
Some people are aware that Oh Hell, Donna! used to look very different.
This is because the first page was done long before even Deddrie (www.deddrie.com) was a thing, and that comic has been around for about a decade or so.
...Longer?
Oh crap.
How old am I???
In any case, I'm not ready to show you those embarrassing days of Donna yet.
I might for fun once the comic is up and running.
Instead, I'll show you a different thing that wound up a giant pile of failure.
I'm showing you this because I KEPT it.
I kept it just like I kept everything of Donna, until I was ready to come back to it again.
My hope is that one day, Risker will go that way too.
Actually, I think it would work well as a videogame.
This was the page that made it to any kind of portfolio:
Out of the twenty something pages planned, only four were ever completed...
And they were mostly shitty.
I was BIG on detail work, but I had no sense of anatomy or pacing or layout or... Anything, really.
That being said, the style itself was kind of neat, and
if I ever have the time, I might use it for something else
*coughDONNAcough*
The two main characters were Risker:
Such... emo...
And Katryna, who I'd need to rename.
Seeeeee, she was created before the hurricane of a different spelling, but I feel the fact that her main move is to spin around like a bladed tornado might cause some problems.
I'll have to think about that one...
Other sketches for her and what eventually became her were about as unsuccessful as those two random tails you'll never see again.
(Was this early Rage or...?)
If she were a superhero...
Future... steampunk... something?
Oh, and the plot of this story had something to do with Risker's mom being kidnapped to use as basically a mini baby factory for monsters.
He spends the first half of his story looking for her, and the other half trying to defeat his dad...
Who has one of the worst character designs ever.
Ever.
Even the Snykelbei...stump... Whatever.
Even that thing that eventually became a scratch drawing for whatever reason:
Started off with a different design:
I went through a phase of things like this, and I wanted them ALL to be in Risker.
The henchmen/soldiers eventually got more human-like:
AAaaaaand of course there were plenty of other characters that didn't quite make it.
Seriously. The Hell was some of this crap?
Oh, and all the badguys had a symbol that worked as a brand.
Risker and Kat both had them as well, though Risker's is shorter because he flipped out and screwed it up.
These were other ideas for that thing:
Fun fact, that top one was made into a real, wearable necklace in a shop class once.
Made out of metal and everything.
It was Kat's necklace, you see.
I was like, really sure that I was going to stick with this particular storyline and such.
SO sure, that I have a tattoo and everything.
Yep.
Mind you, I love my tattoo, and at this point it represents more of who I am than it ever did for this comic.
Still, I'd like to make this into something one day.
We'll see.
For now, it'll wait in the morgue just like Donna, Stitches, Moth and everything else I brought back in the last few years did before.
School has started again (my last semester, provided I don't screw up) and so everything is overwhelming and scary.
To relax, I've smashed myself head first into a huge project, because that will totally help.
Really, I'm just still working on an ongoing thing...
Oh Hell, Donna!
I thought I'd take a moment to show you the general steps of how this works.
1.) I write a script. This means I loosely say what I want to happen, then break that up into scenes, then break THAT up into dialogue and panels.
2.) Crappy, sketchy thumbnails that only make any sense to me, like this:
Pages upon pages of that crap.
3.) I take a break to drink some tea.
4.) Pencils! I usually get way ahead of myself and start doing the inking of the text in this phase, just to be sure there is room.
...Don't do it this way. I make terrible choices in my art.
5.) I draw all the borders, finish up the pencils...
6.) Then I ink the pencils, erase EVERYTHING (meaning, Rob erases it) and scan it all in.
7.) Occasionally, I'll do a drawing separately to then use as a panel.
8.) Likewise, the backgrounds (usually watercolor) are done separately, and then placed in where they need to be.
9.) We have flat color (usually digital)... Though I have no examples to show you right now...
10.) We have shades and highlights and backgrounds, oh my!
The end.
I also have a font/typeface of my handwriting, but I've only ever used it on one part of the comic, or places where I've screwed up while inking. Hmm.
First off, I'd like to say that I had this issue with giraffe-creatures and cows... horses... Pretty much any mammal with legs.
I go in thinking, "YEAH! I know how to draw that thing!"
And then I learn how wrong I am.
Today was a deer.
You see, I was trying to illustrate a moment my Knight and I shared that was magical and hilarious.
But first, this is what came out of my pen:
I mean... You can tell what it is, I think? But... It's wrong.
I took some time to work in a gestural way, to see if I could figure out the basic, underlying shapes involved...
I give you: Shitting Deer-Cow.
I tried again.
Why does it look old?? Old lady cow-deer-dog-horse.
I gave up and decided it just needed a label.
Magestic... Read this as "Majestic" okay?
Apparently I can't freaking spell today either.
Spelling and deer.
Screw you both with your legs and letters that sound the same.
In any case, we saw this pretty little deer prancing around being MAJESTIC, and then it-
Tripped over a railing face first.
The deer was fine, but we are cruel people, and so we continued to laugh at its spindly-legged deer plight.
Deer.
Bleh.
I am very familiar with the Stress Snowball.
You see, it starts off small.
It's so small, that I ignore how cold it is.
I even ignore the rock in the middle of it, which makes it dangerous, but I'll get to that later.
I ignore the snowball, thinking that I can handle it.
…
I'm wrong.
Eventually, I drop the snowball and it starts to roll around.
It picks up other stress inducing things.
This happens because I didn't take care of the small things, and now I'm too stressed to deal with the bigger things…
It picks up pretty much everything, from school stuff, to work stuff, to even other people who were just there to help.
This can get overwhelming to the point where I just don't want to do ANYTHING and so the ball continues to grow.
When it gets this bad, we are tempted to dive in and get to the source immediately, but sometimes that gets us stuck in the ball.
Instead, take a moment to take a closer look.
In general, if you can peel off some easy tasks and stresses first, just little ones from the top, you can start to get some layers of snow off of your stress snowball.
Keep at it, and before long, your stress snowball will start to shrink to a more manageable size.
More layers removed, and you'll get to the rocky middle.
The stress which started it all.
The stress I thought I could handle, whatever it may be.
The stress I didn't realize was so heavy.
For me, it looks like this:
This center of stress is generally just a failure to keep up with the tasks of taking care of myself, along with everything else.
I have learned to keep this center of stress happy with tea and comic-books.
It is often tough to find time for this though, so to-do lists come in handy.
I treat taking care of myself just like any other task.
This is the key to avoiding the stress snowball.
Do I still fail to do this on occasion?
Of course.
I'm actually a little worried about this coming semester, since it's my last.
Here's hoping I remember this post!
2013?
I moved a bazillion times, applied to internships, took my five hour and actively started practicing driving, took huge steps in getting back to eating right, got back up to 100 pounds, started dating my Knight, finished the first chapter of Oh Hell, Donna!, participated in the Shuffle comic, almost finished my MA, met a chunk of Rob's family, went to a bunch of museums and movies, Rob got my portfolio site up (www.rowyngolde.com), made a lot of stuff, remade some old connections, attempted to assist friends with wedding plans, wrote stuff, drew stuff, attended conventions, sold stuff... started re-learning guitar... I feel like other things happened. ...That's all I can think of.
For 2014, I wrote up a giant to-do list by month.
The things anyone reading this might care about mostly involve getting my driver's license, finishing my MA (with starting my internship), getting Deddrie back online, and posting Oh Hell, Donna! one page at a time.
Eventually, Donna will be available for purchase as a book.
Moth will also be published hopefully within 2014.
*crosses fingers*
I also plan on working out a bit more, practicing guitar a bit more and possibly learning a little more Japanese.
You might be wondering how I intend to do the things I'm saying.
Well, I have a plan.
How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions
Make a list:
Write down everything you want to change or accomplish this year.
Then cut that down to reasonable things.
For example, “eat healthy” might be a bit better than, “marry that movie star.”
Detail that list:
Having things like “Go to the gym more often” wind up meaningless really fast because they are vague and therefore make it easy to come up with excuses to avoid.
Instead, write things like, “Go to the gym X amount of hours, X amount of days a week…” and write exactly what you plan to work on while there.
You can even go to someone who works at the gym the first day and ask what kinds of exercises and machines you should do to achieve your goal.
This process works for pretty much any goal, not just working out!
Mini goals:
Having mini goals along the way can help you remember that you are making progress, which will help your desire to continue.
Mini goals also give you something to build on in order to get to another level or step of your ultimate goal.
Do you wanna?
Make sure you actually WANT to do the things on this list, or that they will make you healthier, or better your life in some way.
Sometimes, we say we’ll do things just because other people want us to do them.
This makes it less likely to actually stick to it, for obvious reasons.
That being said, if something is on your list because a friend is doing it also and wants a buddy, you should probably stick to it.
All else fails?
If you can find an excuse to quit, you can find an excuse to continue.
Make up a reason why it would benefit you to stick with the resolution, even if it is just a sense of pride and bragging rights.
Along those lines, if you don't really want to eat more healthy or keep track of something else medical but your doctor tells you to do so... You might want to just suck it up and try it anyway.
Who knows?
Your doctor might be right and you might start to feel awesome.
Have a buddy:
It isn’t necessary, but having someone else hold you accountable and having the drive to stick to it too will benefit you both.
(This can be in person or online.)
Remember:
If you find that it isn’t working out, you can change something about your routine.
Ask around and see how other people achieved similar goals.
Form a habit!
Like brushing your teeth, if you do something every day, eventually you’ll do it without even thinking about it.
Do research:
This works for above examples, as well pretty much everything else in life.
Want to learn a new skill? Find a teacher or online tutorials.
What does it take? What supplies will you need?
Start small though.
Getting too involved too fast may cost you a lot of money for something you might wind up not actually enjoying.
You can always build up on supplies once you know that you want to continue.
Help is good!
In some cases, you may want to go to your doctor to see what the healthiest way is to achieve your goals.
Do this especially if your goal involves ANY kind of diet or exercise plan.
In other cases, you may want to find and go to a counselor or a psychologist if your goal involves facing a long standing fear or even attending to social problems.
It doesn’t have to be something huge in order to seek professional help.
In fact, asking for some kind of help is always recommended, no matter what your goals may be.
Write down your progress:
On a calendar, or even sticky notes, write down every single time you accomplish a part of your goal.
Even a tiny accomplishment.
Say how many hours you did it, or what mini goal you met.
If you organize your main goal, mini goals, and steps to get there by date on the calendar to begin with, this will be easy to see.
Remember!!!
You can always add goals throughout the year.
Every day is a new day, so we don’t have to wait for the next year to make goals.
Woo!
