Surrounded by questions of whether or not I had a Christmas tree growing up, I started remembering Hannukah once again.
I remember the same things I've told you all before...
And I noticed something else.
First, let's talk about the fact that eight gifts typically happen.
It's one a night, and parents will generally pick which to give their child each night.
Sometimes the gifts get a little silly by the end, and sometimes they get better and better.
They showed us all the gifts at once.
In a pile...
Mine would be one wrapping paper and my sister's would be another.
They were in a pile and it was our choice which present we'd pick first, second, and so on each night.
This was terrible.
We'd spend every night thinking about what the other shapes contained and whether we chose right, even though we'd obviously be getting the others open eventually.
Sometimes it would be a miss, like a thing we didn't really care for or something decidedly useless...
Sometimes it would be something completely ridiculous on the other side of the spectrum, and I'd become a little concerned about who my parents had to kill in order to afford it...
Either way, having that pile to choose from and that interesting semi-roulette of Hannukah ended with conditioning me to realize that anything I'm waiting for will eventually come, whether I guess or obsess about it or not.
It also did something else that is fairly important.
It made me no longer have a crushing sense of curiosity.
I don't mean that it took the magic out of my imagination or made me want to know how things worked a little less.
Not at all.
What I'm saying is that situations that were labeled as dangerous in some way were no longer particularly interesting to me.
Things that did not affect my life and that would not have anything potentially awesome for me or my loved ones were empty boxes which did not need to be opened.
When friends saw a door saying, "Do Not Enter," it filled them with a NEED to open that door.
I was freed from this need.
I no longer cared.
I'm telling you... This was freeing.
A beautiful thing.
The closed door was now nothing more than a door I did not need to open, so that I could spend more energy opening the doors which needed opening.
Take this both literally and figuratively.
On a completely separate note, I actually DID have Christmas this year.
We had a tree in the apartment and everything.
It was about four feet tall and we didn't actually have much to work with.
The only real ornaments on it are, oddly enough, mine.
Plenty of candy canes,
The ribbon is Halloween ribbon.
There were lips on there somewhere...
The topper was Trickster #1 from the Broadway show of the Lion King.
And a bat.
My Knight's family has taken me in as one of their own.
I feel a little like a tiny kitten being taken in by a pack of wolves.
They are very caring and were terrifying before I learned the ways of their people.
...Like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
This freaking movie.
I don't understand what the Hell I watched.
My eyes themselves were confused and pained, yet entertained.
Like watching an empty car explode.
The movie was so charming and nice to look at that I somehow got through the implications of ...everything bad that could possibly happen to a woman.
Like the main character himself, all was forgiven with a dance number and a song.
In any case, we were given many gifts that evening and much joy was had.
I felt like I was really a part of the family, and that was nice.