Thursday, January 31, 2013

Meat Sauce

So, my mother is like an escaped Disney Princess.  She really is.  Everything she says and does and how she looks and sounds... Yep.

...And then I see this:

This looks like something you'd find in a serial killer's fridge.

"Lazagha"  I think that's supposed to be lasagna. 

I should film a horror movie and just call it "Lazagha" and not say why.


This is what gave birth to me.  


and I just-

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Yet Another Post About Poop

My cat. OH MY GOD.
She just got in the arching "Imma shit now" position, I yelled at her, MOVED HER WITH MY FOOT

and she shat anyway.

 "You see me trollin'…"

This cat gives NO SHITS except for the literal kind.


Okay, her's is really not that... Like that, but this is more graphically interesting to draw.

I wish I had the balls this freaking cat does. My god.
Next time I get rejected by a man who has been flirting for months, that's it. I'm just gonna shit right there.

 "Yeah... You were like, third and a half choice."

Drop trow and just shit right in front of him, possibly on his feet.

Get a crap grade in a class? 


Oh, drama happening with friends or family?

Disarm the situation by shitting right there on the rug!  Or even on the furniture! 

Fuck you, cat.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Maybe not just lately.
Maybe it has been forever.

I've been feeling like The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Only, mine is not the story of Jekyll finding freedom in Hyde
so much as Hyde desperately putting on Jekyll's old suit
and finding that it no longer fits.
My Hyde wanders around uncomfortably in Jekyll's clothes,
trying to save face to save himself.

Jekyll is often nowhere to be found, but none of his companions notice.
They all believe Hyde.
When Jekyll finally does take his own skin again, he is tired.
Briefly excited, he finds excuses to keep going.

Jekyll can make a living, and it is an honorable one.
He knows deep down that he is helping others
and that his own desires and needs must never come first.
His happiness has meant so little for so long that he is afraid to find any for himself,
lest it be a distraction
or just something good to lose.
Falling from grace would be quite the distraction.

Hyde just runs rampant, chaotic but happy.
Hyde does not care for the needs of those around him.
They are little more than stepping stones.
But Hyde is new.
Hyde is young and reckless.
He has all the passion in the world,
but lacks the drive to succeed at anything meaningful.

Jekyll is just the opposite. 

Hyde needs Jekyll in order to remain so content and free and blameless.
Jekyll needs Hyde in order to release his demons
and prevent them from choking him in his sleep.
Jekyll gives Hyde some sense of structure and purpose…

But Hyde has dreams of his own.

Dreams that may conflict with Jekyll's entire way of life. 


Who do I root for now?