Wednesday, January 6, 2016

By The Way, I Got Married

2015 was pretty busy. 

Along with giant strides made in my emotional and physical health, I did a lot of art-stuff!

I finished Volume 1 of Oh Hell, Donna! 
Those pages are going to post one at a time every Wednesday. 
Meanwhile, I’ve already done the first chapter of the second volume. 

Deddrie is oddly still going.  …for some reason. 
I have finally made the choice to post a comic every other Thursday for that, rather than just “whenever I feel like it,” so let’s see if I can keep that up.

I finished Unicorn and fixed up Venus. (The plan is to put together a little Fantasy-anthology type thing...)

My Knight in Pinstripes and I went to a few conventions and did pretty well there.

I was in that Bubbline book…  Was that 2015?  Jeez. 

I’ve even got my next projects lined up, and I’ve started showing some of the character designs on Tumblr, DeviantArt, and Facebook.  …and Twitter.  I’m on a lot of sites these days.

I also have been in my not-art job for almost a year now.

OH and we bought a house. 

 SO that was the year that just ended… PLUS THE WEDDING.

Riiight right.  We got married. 

Our wedding was crazy and planning for it was more-so.  Like, this was the Save the Date:

Actually, let’s start off by talking about the wedding planner who came with the venue.  We liked the venue, but had no need of a wedding planner. 
The place was beautiful.  See? 

OH by the way, THIS IS MY FACE.

But yeah.  We didn't want a planner, because we had a clear set of ideas for what we wanted. 
We tried to make that clear… but again, she came with the place. 

She was horrible.

Anytime a family member had to get involved, they’d say the same thing.  They’d say they really liked the place… and not her. 

I’d like to say she meant well but I don’t think she actually did. 

The first meeting we had with her, we talked about how we wanted to just call it a “family gathering” to celebrate our union, since we’d already be legally married by that point, there would be no white dress, no flowers, no DJ...

This was our DJ:

And no pretty-much-everything that makes something a typical wedding.

I mean...  THIS was on our invites:

She took this to mean that we either weren’t going to be married at all, or that we were tricking her.

Every now and then, she’d say, “This is starting to sound A LOT like a wedding…” and look at us suspiciously.  She’d give us an outlandish suggestion that we’d either turn down or think about, but if we said we liked any part of it, she’d panic and say, “GUYS THIS IS GETTING REALLY COMPLICATED” and act like it was her idea to do whatever it is we wanted to do in the first place.

We were already complicated on our own.  My party was the Scorpion Gang:

and his was The L10N5:

The idea was that his group had been underground when the bomb went off, and mine was above ground as raiders and such...

At one point, we even filmed our friend for the purpose of having a screen project the image for the audience… We cut that later.

Mind you, we still did A LOT.   

We had boxes and boxes of stuff for the tables, and I labeled each bag for each one…   

We made the Nuka Cola labels ourselves, and Rob even made Nuka Cola caps, though those were ultimately not used for the wedding.  

Rob nearly mutilated his own hands to help me make my shoes...

 *Stained with human blood*

We chased people for RSVPs, including people we saw all the time or people who had actually complained about that themselves for their own wedding, as well as family members we didn’t have any addresses for to begin with…  

OH and since we moved right before the wedding, I lost my carefully planned out bad of day-of stuff, including all of the jewelry I had planned to wear and even scorpion tattoos I was going to put on all my brides-people.   

Rob lost his ties, including the one for the wedding.   

We did a kind of scavenger hunt to replace the items just in time, and I have since found my bag, but HOLY BAJEEZUS I did not need that extra stress.

And yet…

She, the "planner" was the worst, most difficult part of the whole shebang. 

The tables were neat though.   
Yeah!  Let’s talk about the tables.

Each had their own theme.    

Guests were encouraged to barter, bargain, trade, and steal with other tables.  My favorite common saying of the night was, “They stole my monkey!  I mean, I stole it first, but I stole fair and square!”

Each guest knew which table they had to go to via our “escort cards”…

Which were “wedding survival kits”…

These included a band-aid, some aspirin, a teeny tiny glow stick, gum (my father loves this gum), and a neat little keychain thing that has a compass, a light… and apparently a whistle.  

I didn’t catch that last part until people… until DRUNK people started using them.

“WHO GAVE THEM WHISTLES” quickly turned to realization that, “We did.  We gave them ALL whistles…”

By the way, my dad freaking loves this gum:

OH and the tables all had cameras on them (JEEZ I’m jumping around) so that we could get candids beyond what our actual photographer would get.

AS an aside, we did have a good camera-worth of totally unusable photos.  Dude wasn’t even someone we know.  He was a +1 of a friend.  WHO TAKES DICK PICS AT A STRANGERS WEDDING???  They weren’t even in the bathroom!  That shit was by people’s grandmothers under the table! 

There were no faces, but given that everyone was in costume, we know it’s you


People kept clinking their glasses for us to kiss.   

We’d see folks come over, trying to take a picture of us doing so, but they evidently always failed.   

Every shot of that is either right before or right after.   
We had little nervous pecks more than a romantic kiss in front of a hundred people. 

OH YEAH we had a "sweetheart table" 

Which was still close enough to the Tank Girl table for my party,

And the Vault 13 table for his.

But at one point, there was clinking… and no husband. 

He was off being useful and fixing the music, but the point was that it left me going, “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?  WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO KISS??” 

Thankfully, a couple of our friends stepped in, causing husband’s racist, homophobic grandpa to get a front row seat to two men kissing rather romantically.  Then another friend came in and slapped one like he was a scorned lover.  It was all incredibly entertaining. 

Speaking of entertaining, did I mention the battle that occurred between tables 12 and 14?  

See, because each table had a theme, we DID want people to mingle.  We didn’t realize it was cause an impromptu social experiment. 

I can't even begin to explain what happened, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

We had a card-bomb for well wishes and such. 

When we broke it open, there were a lot of “TABLE 12 RULES/SUCKS” and so forth.  We could also tell when people started to really start drinking, because nice date ideas turned into lewd non-sequitors. 

Oh, those skeletons were a gift from our cousin (ha!  "Our" now cause marriage so she's my cousin now too!  I'm so tired.)
Even they got a little lewd by the end of it.

Our dance floor was The Thunderdome.  
Bride and Groom enter.  
A married couple leaves!

When it was time for our first dance, my father fled for the bathroom… followed by Rob. 
I mean, they didn't go together. 
It was just that after Dad came back, my husband had vanished.

I truly believed neither would come back in time…   
But they did!  YAY! 

Rob and I danced to a David Bowie cover of “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys.

Then Dad and I/Rob and his mom danced to “Something Stupid” by Nancy and Frank Sinatra. 
This means that when someone asks, I can now say, “God only knows… Something stupid” and sound super sarcastic and uninvolved.  I find this hilarious.  

Gaze upon our awkward prom photo:

OH and we did something special for everyone on the dance floor.  :-D 
Once enough people were up and having a good time boogie woogie-ing, we had a Daft Punk tune get cut off by a record scratch, leading the way for Rick Astley. 

That’s right.  We Rick Rolled over a hundred people. 

OH LAI;FKLJhijkldjf  The bathroom! 
So.  Okay.  The tables each had their own post-apocalyptic thing...

That's right.  

The bathroom was Demolition Man. 

After the wedding, we had a bonfire.  The fire didn’t really exist well, but everyone had a good time joking around.  I was startled when she-bitch appeared behind me like the Devil in a 1920’s silent film.  She said, WAY TOO CLOSE TO MY FACE, “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?”  I nodded, nearly pissed myself in fear, and spent the rest of the time just praying she wouldn’t manifest herself again.   


Then we went inside for gifts and whoever managed to stay up that long.

And I got my shark.

I love him.

I want to beat our planner with this shark.  Look he has a friend!

Lastly, we had our next-morning-brunch.  That went well.  In line for food, my aunt asked me, “What did you guys do last night?  …Well, I KNOW what you did last night, but aside from that.”  Heeey let’s not talk about my sex life right now, yeah?  Ya weirdo. 

Meanwhile, Rob’s grandfather just loomed behind to say, “You’re gonna regret marrying into THIS family.”  Okay.  So.  Was that a joke, or a threat?  Both?  

Yaaaaaay marriage!  Well, part one. 
I didn’t talk about the food-stuffs here because that deserves its own post.  


1 comment:

  1. Wedding planner aside, OMG THIS LOOKS SO AWESOME!! I love how much thought and detail and knick knacks were put into this. <3 <3 <3