Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Binders Full of Women and My History With Squirrels

Just to get this image out of the way here...

Believe me, I could make a giant book of the problems women face today and how frustrating it is that so few people really understand A. the impact these things have on women and B. how little this shit should even still be coming up in 2012.  Holy crap people.  Women can do more than pop out babies and make you a sandwich.  Jesus tits.

But, I won't.  Not yet.  Instead, I'll leave you with that illustration.

Okay, so, onto the real post.

I talk a lot about art school and the impact that had on me, but I was only there for a year.  Sure, I've got some unfinished business and I have been (as always) in need of some closure, but really it just represents a life I could still have... if I wasn't a stubborn ass.  I could reconnect with the people I knew so briefly instead of assuming they've forgotten about me, and I could get something published.  These would fix most of the problems.

Instead, I'll tell you a little tale of the school from which I actually graduated.  I did get a BA in Art, as well as one in Psychology.  Oh, poor me.  Woe is me.  I wound up with two freaking degrees, and one might actually be useful.  Oh no.  Whatever shall I do?  I'm absolutely aware that I am, in fact, an asshat.

Anyway, the squirrels.

As anyone who has lived on campus in an area with squirrels will tell you, after a while, these buggers get fearless.  Also, they get huge.

Free food and drunken kids who like fuzzy creatures makes for a very cushy, and somewhat privileged life.  The squirrels get ballsy.  Like... full of balls.  No, I won't draw that.

I'm walking to the dining hall this one fine afternoon, and I happen upon a squirrel.

Adorable as he is, I think nothing of it and continue walking forward, assuming the little guy will move.
...He didn't.

Instead, little bitch just stared me down.

 I found this a bit unnerving, but I continued forward.  I realized that he was big enough to block my way.  I questioned if he had rabies or something.  He didn't move.

In fact, he stood his goddamn ground.

Kaaaaay...  Well, fuck.  I'm not going to take shit from a rodent, right?  I'm hungry, and he's in my way.  I'm at least twice this randomly ridiculously large creature's size.  I could totally take him.

Or not.

Eventually, after what seemed like far too long of a stand off, I faltered.  

It felt like I got mugged by this squirrel.  In my head, this was how it went down:

And so I was spared: 
In reality, I'm such a pansy (and had no food on me, since I was going TO the cafeteria, not from it...) I just very quietly and slowly walked around to the other side of the building.  Like a wuss.  Like a giant, pansy wuss who can't take on a freaking squirrel.  

Completely unrelated because I don't know how to make this into it's whole own post: 

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